In a New York Minute
by Cucumber
Summary: New Yorkers don't take kindly to noisy sword fights when they're trying to sleep.


ONLY IN NEW YORK  
  
Note: This story doesn't take place at any particular place   
in the Highlander timeline.   
  
EXT. MANHATTAN STREET - NIGHT  
  
METHOS and DUNCAN are walking along unconcernedly. It's   
pretty late and there aren't many other people on the   
street. All of a sudden they stop because they feel another   
Immortal in the area.  
  
METHOS   
Expecting company, were you?  
  
DUNCAN   
(shortly)   
No.  
  
They look around and don't see anyone so they continue on.   
Just then the IMMORTAL steps out into a circle of light   
cast by a lamppost. His sword is drawn.  
  
IMMORTAL   
Duncan MacLeod of the Clan   
MacLeod. I've been waiting   
for you.  
  
METHOS   
You know this guy?  
  
DUNCAN   
No.   
(To the Immortal)   
And who are you? I don't want   
to fight you.  
  
IMMORTAL   
(coming closer)   
Well, I want to fight you.   
You don't remember me? That's   
all right. It won't matter   
anyhow after I've taken your   
head.   
  
He moves even closer.  
  
DUNCAN   
It's not too late to back   
out.  
  
IMMORTAL   
I'm not backing down! Draw   
your sword!  
  
METHOS   
I think that's my cue to   
exit.  
  
Duncan takes out his sword then takes off his coat and   
flings it at Methos who can't help but catch it.  
  
DUNCAN   
Stay. This shouldn't take   
long.  
  
METHOS   
(melting into the   
shadows)   
Fine . . .  
  
Duncan and the Immortal circle each other then start   
fighting. The Immortal is very good and draws first blood,   
but Duncan quickly evens the score and smashes him over the   
head with a garbage can lid. They are evenly matched and   
after a few minutes neither one of them is winning or   
gaining any ground.  
  
INT. APARTMENT   
  
A WOMAN and a MAN are watching late night television in   
bed. The Woman hears clanging, gets out of bed and peeks   
out her window from behind the curtains. She sees the fight   
and things are getting pretty bloody.  
  
WOMAN   
There are two guys outside   
trying to kill each other   
with swords.  
  
MAN   
Swords?   
  
He gets up and goes to the window beside her and sees the   
fight.   
  
MAN  
Jesus. Call the police.   
  
The Woman picks up the phone and dials 911.  
  
MAN   
You gotta love this town.  
  
WOMAN   
Could I have the police,   
please.   
(Pause)   
Yes, I'd like to report a   
fight. I'm at Hudson and   
Broome. Two men are killing   
each other with swords.   
(Pause)   
Did I say swords? I meant   
knives. Big knives.   
(Pause)   
Fine. I'll just call tomorrow   
about the body outside my   
window.   
(Pause)   
I'd rather not say.   
(Pause)   
Thank you. Goodbye.   
  
She hangs up and shrugs.  
  
MAN   
Well, we tried.  
  
INT. POLICE STATION   
  
The DISPATCHER is sitting around with a few other COPS when   
he gets a call. He talks but indistinctly and then hangs   
up.  
  
DISPATCHER   
I just got a 911 squawk about   
two guys fightin' with swords   
down on Hudson street.   
  
Everyone laughs.  
  
COP1   
Just some kook, I guess.   
  
He picks up a broom and starts waving it around  
  
COP1  
Look at me, I'm Zorro!   
  
Everyone laughs again.  
  
DISPATCHER   
I don't know. It coulda been   
true. It didn't sound like a   
kook.  
  
COP2   
Then radio Tropper and Mead.   
They're in the area. It'll   
make their night.   
(Chuckling)   
Swords.  
  
DISPATCHER   
What the hell. It's been a   
slow night. Car 91 this is   
dispatch. We've got an 87 in   
progress at . . .   
  
EXT. STREET   
  
They're still fighting when the cops pull up. Their lights   
are flashing but the siren isn't on so Duncan doesn't   
realize that they're not just passing by. But the Immortal   
does. He sees TROPPER and MEAD getting out of the car and   
turns tail.  
  
MEAD   
Stop! Police!  
  
IMMORTAL   
I must bid you adieu for now.   
See you around, MacLeod.  
  
Duncan doesn't have a chance to get away before Mead is on   
him. Methos tries to get away but he bumps into Tropper.  
  
TROPPER   
Where do you think you're   
going?  
  
METHOS   
Nowhere, I guess.  
  
MEAD   
(to Duncan)   
Who was the other guy?  
  
DUNCAN   
I don't know.  
  
MEAD   
That's OK. You'll have time   
to think about when you're in   
lockup tonight. You're under   
arrest. You have the right to   
remain silent . . .  
  
Tropper brings Methos to Mead.  
  
TROPPER   
I found him trying to run.  
  
MEAD   
Frisk him.  
  
Tropper frisks Methos and finds his sword. He looks at it   
incredulously and exchanges a look with Mead.  
  
TROPPER   
You're under arrest -  
  
METHOS   
(interrupting)   
On what charge?  
  
TROPPER   
Carrying a concealed weapon.   
Listen, pal, Halloween isn't   
for a while yet. Your pirate   
s--t isn't cute.  
  
The cops put Duncan and Methos into the back of the squad   
car and take them to the police station.   
  
INT. POLICE STATION   
  
Tropper and Mead put Duncan and Methos in a holding cell   
and then go off. We see the cops all laughing and pointing   
at them. Duncan and Methos sit down on a bench and glare at   
each other, though Methos glares a little more   
sarcastically.  
  
METHOS   
I knew we should have taken a   
cab.  
  
THE END 


End file.
